Reflection tools
Short, private exercises written for this site. They are not tests and they don't score you against anyone. They help you notice where you are.
These tools grew out of the themes I work with most: living far from home, carrying family expectations, and wondering whether counselling might help. Each one takes a few minutes. Nothing you tick is stored or sent anywhere, and none of them gives you a score against other people or a diagnosis.
How these tools differ from the free tests
The free self-tests use published, validated questionnaires such as the GAD-7 or the PHQ-9. They measure something specific and compare your answers with research-based ranges.
The reflection tools here are different. I wrote them for this site, so they are not research instruments. They are a structured way of noticing where you are: how connected you feel in a new country, how much pull there is between your family's hopes and your own, or whether online person-centred counselling is likely to suit you right now.
Which tool to start with
- If you have moved abroad, or your partner's job brought you here, start with the expat wellbeing check-in.
- If you feel torn between duty to your family and what you want for yourself, try the duty and self reflection.
- If you are deciding whether to try counselling at all, the online counselling check is honest about when a more structured approach such as CBT may suit you better.
If you are struggling right now
A reflection tool is not the right first step in a crisis. If you are thinking about harming yourself or feel unsafe, please use the helpline register to find free, confidential support in your country, or call 112 in Europe or 999 in the UK.
- Duty and self reflectionA free, private reflection on family expectations and your own wishes. Twelve gentle questions on duty, guilt and voice that respect close family ties.
- Expat wellbeing check-inA free, private check-in for people living abroad. Fourteen gentle questions on connection, belonging, energy, purpose and ties to home. Not a diagnosis.
- Is online counselling right for me?A free, private check on whether online person-centred counselling may suit you: what you want, your practical setup, and an honest note on when CBT fits.
Looking for validated questionnaires? See the free self-tests.