Writing on counselling, culture, family and the quieter parts of life.
LatestPerson-centred counselling
A warm, simple introduction to person-centred counselling, what it feels like in practice, and how it may help if you are thinking about therapy for the first time.
Read the reflectionFeelings and growth
We often think of therapy as 'fixing' ourselves. But what if the wound is relational, and the healing must be too?
Culture and family
Western psychology often equates health with total autonomy. But for many of us, our connections to family and community are not shackles. They are roots.
Person-centred counselling
Entering therapy can feel like bringing your car to a mechanic. But you are not a machine, and your feelings are not broken parts.
Culture and family
Therapy has not always been a safe place for minority identities. Acknowledging power and culture is essential to our work.
Feelings and growth
We often pressure ourselves to make the 'right' decision quickly. But ambivalence is a valid and important part of the process.
Reflections is where I write about the things that come up in and around counselling. I'm Michelle Fernando, a trainee person-centred counsellor and BACP student member offering online counselling in English. These pieces are my own thinking, written slowly and in plain words, for anyone curious about therapy or quietly wondering whether it might help.
Some posts explain how counselling works, such as what person-centred therapy is or what to expect if you've never been to a counsellor before. Others look at experiences I care about: feeling torn between family duty and your own needs, living far from home, guilt, belonging, and the effort of always being the one who copes.
Nothing here is a diagnosis or a set of instructions. You won't find quick fixes. I hope you'll find something that helps you hear yourself a little more clearly, or a sense that you're not the only one who feels this way.
The posts return to a few ideas from person-centred counselling: that the relationship is the therapy, that a counsellor doesn't need to fix you, and that being unsure is allowed. Terms such as unconditional positive regard and ambivalence are explained in the glossary. Others come from my interest in culture: what it means to feel culturally safe in therapy, and why interdependence isn't a weakness. If a post touches something you're living with, the topics pages, such as family duty and the self, go into more practical detail.
If a piece stays with you and you'd like to talk about it, you can read about me, see how sessions work or book a session.
Michelle Fernando writes them. She's a trainee person-centred counsellor and BACP student member, working under regular clinical supervision, trained in Sri Lanka and the UK. The posts are her own thinking about counselling, culture and family. They don't describe real clients, and any examples are hypothetical, so nothing you read here comes from someone's sessions.
Start with the gentle guide to person-centred therapy. It explains what the approach means, what happens in sessions and why the counsellor doesn't give advice. If you'd like something more practical, the guide to your first counselling session covers confidentiality, the 50-minute format and the questions you might be asked at the beginning.
No. They're reflective writing, not instructions, and they can't assess your situation. They're meant to help you put words to something, or feel less alone with it. If you're struggling and want support, you could speak to your doctor or a counsellor. If you're in immediate danger, call 999 in the UK or 112 in the EU.